My Recent Learning about Leadership

Hey Beyonder! 👋

Recently, I have been thinking about the messy but beautiful problems of leading people. (And trust me, it's WAY messier than those aesthetic leadership quotes on LinkedIn! 😅)

My friend Sanjeev NC gifted me this book called "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott. In this book, the author talks about how caring personally and challenging directly is the secret sauce of good leadership. And you know what, it's like someone finally put words to all these feelings I've been having as a founder. I will tell you more about this in the newsletter.

(By the way, talking about Sanjeev, he is a pretty interesting guy! He has made more than Rs. 80 Lakh by making memes. I found it really crazy and inspiring! If you want to know more about how Sanjeev built a profitable product just by making memes, and how probably you can do it too, check out my podcast with him! - Watch it here, and trust me, it’s WILD!)

Last week, I had one of those heart-in-my-throat moments with my TownScholar team. (We're tiny but mighty - just 6 of us pulling it off!). And I finally gathered the courage to have those real, sometimes uncomfortable, conversations about where we're heading.

For the longest time, I was playing the "nice guy" role. You know the one - avoiding tough conversations, keeping things light and fluffy. 

But here's what I learned:

Being Nice vs. Being Real

Here’s the truth. Sometimes being a good leader means:

• Having those sweaty-palms conversations you've been avoiding

• Celebrating wins like a proud parent one day

• Calling out mistakes the next (even when your stomach feels like that it flipped)

I'm learning that it's okay to be both - the person who sends funny GIFs in the team chat AND the one who says "You have to get this done by the deadline!"

You know what Kim taught me? Leadership isn't about choosing between being strict or being nice.

It's about being real. 

Here’s a quote that hit me hard!

This part pulled me back to those childhood moments - sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching adults scold kids for pointing out they were wrong.

"Respect your elders!" they would say. But what they meant was "Never question authority."

And isn't it wild how those moments shaped us? We grew up equating criticism with disrespect. That programming runs so deep that even now, as professionals, we feel that familiar defensiveness rising when someone questions our work.

Maybe you've felt it too - that instant urge to defend when a teammate suggests a different approach. That slight panic when your boss asks "Why did you do it this way?"

But here's the beautiful paradox Kim Scott reveals: Real respect isn't about being unquestionable. It's about being questionable.

And I couldn’t agree more. This isn't just about leadership - it's about breaking a cultural chain. Every time we choose curiosity over defensiveness, we are not just growing ourselves, we are creating a new pattern for others to follow.

Because sometimes, the most respectful thing we can do is admit we might be wrong.

Your Turn to Reflect

Think about your own leadership style - whether you're leading a team, a project, or even just managing yourself. Are you avoiding any tough conversations? Maybe 

Here's a tiny challenge for this week: Have ONE conversation you've been putting off. 

Don't worry, start small - maybe it might just look like asking your roommate to actually wash their dishes! 😉

Have you ever struggled with finding this balance? Hit reply and tell me about your leadership growing pains- I'm all ears!

Keep growing and leading,
Epaphra T

P.S. Special shoutout to my team who puts up with my dad jokes AND my serious moments. They are the real MVPs! 💪